


Drunken Nights and Tired Mornings

by StillNotGinger10



Series: RoyEd OTPoly 2020 [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Demisexual Edward Elric, Drinking, Drinking Games, Filming, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Winry's point of view, drunk ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25873579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillNotGinger10/pseuds/StillNotGinger10
Summary: Al really shouldn't have let Havoc plan the party. Al would have planned a night of alchemy experiments and Winry would have planned something befitting her adrenalin junkie, thrill seeking best friend. Both nights would have been fun for Ed. But Havoc had begged until he’d gotten his way, and that’s how they’d ended up at a strip club for a bachelor party for a demisexual groom.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Series: RoyEd OTPoly 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815763
Comments: 7
Kudos: 80
Collections: RoyEd OTPoly 2020





	Drunken Nights and Tired Mornings

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why this fic took me so long to write, but I finally finished my next prompt for the RoyEd OTPoly event! I did a hotel level fill.
> 
> Prompt:
> 
> Position name: Lior  
> Property name:The Wine Fountain  
> Prompt: Roy and/or Ed are drunk off their asses. Word count: 362-764  
> House level: One of them tries to do something stupid and hurts himself in the process. Choose either: Crack or hurt/comfort. Word count: 977-2584  
> Hotel level: Someone was filming the whole thing. The drunk party/ies later discover the tape. It has NSFW content on it. Max: 3972
> 
> This is post-brotherhood modern au. Ed and Roy are engaged and they have a lot of the same people going to both of their bachelor parties so they're having them on different nights. So if you're wondering why the guys of Team Mustang are at Ed's party, it's because they're planning on going to both. No way Havoc would turn down two bachelor parties lol But I do want to say that I love Havoc even if I make him seem a little insensitive in this fic. I needed someone to throw Ed into this situation, and Havoc was the most likely candidate.

“Are you sure we should have invited her?” Winry heard Havoc asking someone behind her while she was filming Ed very aggressively participate in a drinking contest with more confidence than she thought he should have. Did the idiot forget he was missing a leg? Less body mass meant the alcohol would be even more effective. It was enough to put him at a disadvantage even if his lack of height didn't.

“She’s a groom’s…person, too. She has just as much right as the rest of us to be here,” Al said, repeating the argument she’d already had with Havoc when he first started planning Ed’s bachelor party. Winry thought it was rich that he was protesting her attendance. As if she’d be offended by a strip club. She was probably more interested in the strippers than Ed was. Al really shouldn't have let Havoc plan the party. Al would have planned a night of alchemy experiments and Winry would have planned something befitting her adrenalin junkie, thrill seeking best friend. Both nights would have been fun for Ed. But Havoc had begged until he’d gotten his way, and that’s how they’d ended up at a strip club for a bachelor party for a demisexual groom.

* * *

Of course, Winry had to film Ed getting a lap dance, even if just to have a way to remember what his face looked like when that red and mortified.

As the woman they’d been told to call Star bent over Ed with her back to him, looking like she was about to sit on his lap, Ed’s arms sprang to the sides. From the way he moved his hands, he clearly had no idea where to put them.

Except, a few minutes into the dance, he surprised Winry by reaching out and gently brushing Star’s long hair over her shoulder. His fingers trailed down to touch her shoulder blade, when he spoke.

“Is that a Central University tattoo?”

Star’s face lit up. “Yes, it is. Finishing my master’s degree next semester,” she said proudly.

“Oh wow,” Ed said, leaning around to try to see her face, “That’s incredible. Congratulations!” Star looked like she wasn't sure how to take that, and Winry wondered how often people were surprised that she was getting an education and halfheartedly offered their praise. But, of course, Ed was being genuine. He always marveled over the achievements of others and anyone could hear his sincerity clear as day in his tone.

Before she could say anything, Ed continued, “What’s your major?”

“Engineering,” she said, smile gracing her face as she clearly decided that Ed was genuinely impressed.

“Awesome!” Ed cried, and Winry had to stifle a giggle. The guys in their group seemed flabbergasted with the entire conversation.

“My brother, Al, applied there. He wants to study biology. He’s hoping it’ll help him with his alchemy. We haven’t really studied plant alchemy, you know? I’m more of a metal and earth guy, but I know a lot about anatomy. Al does too. He’s hoping he can contribute to the medical and botany fields of alchemy. Hold on,” Ed turned and found Al, gesturing wildly for him to come closer. He wasn’t red from embarrassment anymore, but the alcohol had left a blush on his cheeks.

Al hesitated just long enough for Ed to call out his name and wave again before he finally walked over.

“Al, this is Star,” Ed said. “She goes to CU! You two need to meet.” Winry stifled another giggle. If Ed were sober, she was sure that would have been a more eloquent introduction, but as it was, he still managed to be charming in that special Elric way that drew people to them.

“Hi, Al,” Star said, still moving over Ed’s lap and making the situation even more unreal. “Have you met Professor Isa yet? I worked with him on an eco-friendly project last semester.”

Al perked up. “No, I haven’t gotten to meet any professors yet.”

“Well, sweety, I can fix that,” Star said, holding out her hand. “Give me your phone and I’ll give you my number. We’ll set up a tour of the school and I’ll introduce you to the professors.”

“Really?” Al asked, fumbling in his pocket before handing her his phone. “That’d be great!”

She took a moment to put her number in Al’s phone before handing it back. “Here you go. My real name’s Lita, so I put it under that.”

“Thank you so much,” Al said, smiling at his phone.

“Great,” Ed said, turning his smile from Al back to Lita. “So are we done yet?”

Lita laughed. “Oh no, babe, the song’s not over,” she said, which made Ed throw his head back and groan.

* * *

Ed spent most of the night completely and truly drunk, but that didn't stop him from having slurred conversations with the women who were serving them. Much to Havoc’s dismay, Ed now knew all of their names and most of their career goals.

Just like Winry predicted, she was more interested in watching the dances than Ed was, but at least Ed’s refusal to objectify the women meant that he was tipping just as well as the rest of them were.

“Finally,” Winry heard Havoc mutter from where he’d ended up sitting next to her. She pulled her thoughts away from wondering if Paninya would like this type of club to see what Havoc was looking at.

Ed was on the edge of his seat, staring at the nearest stage with an intense focus that he hadn’t shown all night. But despite what Havoc thought, Winry knew he wasn't turned on like Havoc thought. Ed was her best friend, she knew him. Even if Havoc couldn't always remember that Ed spent most of his life thinking that sexual attraction was some sort of joke everyone just pretended to feel, she never forgot. Then again, Ed probably hadn’t told Havoc that seeing Roy do shirtless pushups while reciting alchemic formulas after losing a bet was what had finally made him understand attraction. Playing twenty questions with your best friend because he finally realized he had a crush on his boss wasn't an easy conversation to forget. Winry wondered if she could somehow fit it into her toast at the reception.

Ed mumbled something that Winry couldn't hear and had Al asking, “What was that, brother?”

“Do you think I could do that?” Ed asked, louder the second time, and as one Winry and Al turned to look at the stage. The woman dancing on the pole was slowly spinning and contorting her body, lifting her leg above her head to wrap around the pole, using just her leg muscles to hold her weight as she flipped upside down. If sober, Ed could probably do any of those moves. Drunk? No way in hell.

“You want to try?” a server asked him. Winry was pretty sure her name was Tara but she went by Cherry in the club, but she’d been busy slipping singles into Crystal’s G-string when Ed had talked to her.

“Can I?” Ed asked, turning away from the stage to give Tara his full attention.

She nodded. “The song’s almost over and the girls won’t mind you borrowing a pole for a minute. Your party is the only one near this stage anyway.”

Oh, this was going to be good. Or bad. However you looked at it. And Winry wanted it on film. She pulled her phone back out of her pocket and started recording as Tara led Ed to the back so he could get on the stage.

Ed didn't look nervous as he took his place, which was probably helped in part by the alcohol. He looked calculating, like he was trying to work out the physics behind pole dancing. And it wouldn't surprise Winry a bit if her friend could still do complicated mental calculations while drunk off his ass.

The music started and Ed grabbed the pole. He started with a slow twirl. So far so good, he kept his balance. And he continued to keep it as he used the pole to stretch his flesh leg above his head.

“Woo! Ed! Take it off!” Winry couldn't help but yell. Maybe she’d had one too many too.

“I don't really want to see my brother strip,” Al said, but he sounded more amused than disgusted.

Winry laughed. “Then look away,” she said.

Ed, seeming to take encouragement from her cheers, lowered his leg so that it was hooked around the pole around waist height and leaned back, arching his back as he peeled off his shirt, revealing the muscular body underneath.

Winry cheered again, trying to hold her phone as still as she could while she whooped at her best friend and did her best to ignore the scars littering Ed’s torso. There were some stories about his time in the military that she didn’t want to hear, and she had a feeling they were all attached to the largest scars on Ed’s chest and back.

Ed threw her his shirt and leaned around the pole to call out, voice too loud, words slurred, “Did I look sexy?”

She couldn't help but laugh.

“Win,” he called again, “Would Roy think that’s sexy?”

Winry never minded being Ed’s guide for what was sexy, but she had a feeling he didn't want all of their friends to know just how often he asked her for that kind of advice.

Still laughing, she gave him a thumbs up, which seemed to be good enough because he shifted his focus back to the pole.

Bracing his hands against the pole, Ed pulled himself up by his arms and swung himself around to wrap his legs around the pole. Hanging upside down, he moved is hands to below his head, where his ponytail swung freely.

Winry couldn't lie, it was hot. For all of two seconds before Ed fell off the pole and crumbled to the ground.

“Is he okay?” someone asked. Winry didn’t know who, too focused on the tangle of legs sticking up in the air.

“Don’t worry,” said Al. “It was just his head. He’s fine.”

“He won’t be If he damaged my automail,” Winry said as she rose to her feet and started towards the mess of limbs and metal that was muttering a pitiful “ow.”

* * *

When Winry woke up the next morning, it was to find Al already up and making breakfast. She hated that he could bounce back from drinking that quickly. Or maybe he was just the only one smart enough not to drink too much. Either way, her head hurt and she was annoyed that his didn’t.

Then she heard a moan come from the couch and turned to find Ed, the one who’d had the most to drink the night before, laying down and looking even more miserable than she felt. That cheered her up a little. But she didn't focus on Ed too long. Finding coffee was a much better motivator.

By the time she was pouring herself a second cup, Winry felt much more awake, and was ready to start stealing bites of the breakfast Al was still cooking. Just as she was reaching around him for a blueberry, there was a knock at the door, which set off a fresh round of groans from the lump on the couch.

“Go,” Al shooed her towards the door. “Maybe I can finish these pancakes if I don't have to worry about you stealing anything.” Winry stuck her tongue out at him but went to answer the door. She was still in her pajamas, but she doubted that the person on the other side of the door wasn't a friend. Besides, she was still too tired and hungover to care, even if the coffee had helped.

A peek out the window by the door showed her that it was Roy at the door, so Winry pulled it open.

“Hey,” she said as she waved him in. “Ed’s still passed out, but Al’s almost done breakfast.”

“I thought I smelled pancakes,” Roy said, smiling at her as he put his coat on the hook by the door.

“And bacon,” Al called to them.

“Sounds delicious,” Roy said as they walked back to the kitchen, but once he saw Ed wrapped in blankets and miserable on the couch, he made a beeline over to him.

Winry stole a piece of bacon this time as she passed Al, earning a, “hey!” and then made her way back to the coffee pot. She finished pouring herself a cup, and then poured one for Ed and Roy each. Al was still working on her first cup, so she didn’t worry about him as she added the right amount of milk and sugar to each cup. Then, with Roy and Ed’s cups in hand, she walked into the living room and put their mugs on the table in front of the couch.

Roy nodded his thanks from where he was cuddled around Ed, who was finally sitting up, and Winry heard him softly question, “What exactly did you get up to last night?”

And that gave her the best idea.

“Do you want to see?” she asked, turning back to the couch. That got both of their attention. “I recorded some videos last night.”

Ed’s eyes widened and he flung his blanket off to wrap his arms around Roy, holding him back. “No,” he shouted.

Roy met Winry’s eyes.

“Well, now I have to see them,” he said, and Winry just barely bit back a cackle. She knew she liked him.

“No,” Ed said again, but they ignored him as Winry sat on the arm of the couch next to Roy and pulled out her phone.

The first video showed them in the car, singing along to the playlist Al made as they drove to the strip club. Nothing too embarrassing in that video since Roy had heard them all belting out lyrics in person before. But then they got to the video of the drinking contest.

“You had a drinking contest?” Roy asked Ed. “Did you win?”

“Unfortunately,” Winry said. “He’s hammered in the rest of these.”

Roy chuckled and mussed Ed’s loose hair. Ed just hid his face in Roy’s shoulder and mumbled, “Please stop watching.”

“No way,” Winry said as she started the next video.

“A lap dance?” Roy said, genuinely laughing this time. “Why?”

“Havoc made me,” came the mumbled reply.

“Oh, Ed,” Roy said, his hand now running gently through Ed’s hair. “I told him not to bother you.”

“It’s okay,” Ed said.

“Really, it turned out okay,” Winry said. “Watch.”

By the time they finished the video, Roy was smiling again. “You set up a play date for Al?”

“Yeah,” Ed said, sitting up straighter as he got more into the conversation. “We got her number so we could set something up.”

Roy laughed. “I definitely wouldn't tell Havoc that. He’ll be relentless in trying to steal her number off you.”

The next video was Ed’s attempt at stripping, which had him jumping up and trying to grab the phone, but as soon as Roy realized what the video was he had one hand pinning Ed to the couch and was staring wide eyed at the screen.

“Did you really--?” he started to ask but trailed off as Ed climbed onto the stage in the video. Ed struggled next to him the whole time, but Roy got to finish the video. Then he turned to Ed and wrapped him in his arms, saying, “You wanted to be sexy? For me? That’s so sweet.” Even if he was teasing now, Winry was getting out before they started kissing or actually getting sickeningly sweet. She loved them both, but there was only so much she could take of her best friend being cute with his fiancé, especially when she was hung over.

Instead, she took a seat at the island that separated the living room from the kitchen and sent Roy the videos as Al plated breakfast in front of her.

“Food’s ready,” he called as he took the seat next to her.

As the sounds of Roy and Ed getting up came from behind them, Winry heard Ed groan, “What? You sent them to him? Win! How could you?” and couldn't help cracking up.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Please leave a comment letting me know what you thought! :D


End file.
